The Best of the Rest of the News.
— So the bombs, the dead Iranians, the smashed cities, and the trillions in regional chaos were all just a PR campaign? Like something to redirect our attention?
— Pete Hegseth, the cable-news weekend host with drinking and infidelity problems and a Signal habit, has now blindsided his own Pentagon by canceling the deployment of 4,000 American troops to Poland, the country Trump himself just called a “model ally.”
— The Trump administration is now openly preparing to indict 94-year-old Raul Castro, and if you’ve been watching the Putin Doctrine playbook, you already know how this movie ends, too.
— In what may be the most spectacular self-own of the week, Trump told Sean Hannity that America needs 500,000 Chinese student visas and that the Chinese Communist Party should be allowed to buy American farmland.
— JD Vance — Yale Law graduate, venture capitalist, couch-lover, and current Vice President of the United States — has officially rolled out the GOP’s 2026 update of Ronald Reagan’s Black “welfare queen”: she now drives a Lamborghini.
— Speaking of billionaires hunting the social safety net, they just notched their biggest scalp yet.
— You Just Can’t Make This Up Alert: As Hantavirus Threat Grows, Trump Turns to a Penile Implant Expert to Reassure America.